Learning about myself through the 2019 Self-Awareness Event was a positive move for me. I have not been myself for the past two decades, I could say, and that is because of loving the wrong person. My husband of twenty years recently left me for a younger woman, and I devoted myself to him and our two children, without thinking of myself. Like I said, I loved the wrong person. I should have loved myself the most.
The coronavirus is one of the fiercest enemies you’ll encounter in this lifetime. Every country is practically fighting it by urging the citizens to hide in their homes and avoid going out unless they’re told that it’s safe to do so. Do you hear that? We are fighting by hiding.
Despite that, what else can we do but stay at home like we’re all told? It is better than going out without any vaccine to shield us from the coronavirus. At least, when we remain in one place for a long while, the virus cannot find us. And there’s no shame in retreating from a fight sometimes, especially if you don’t have the necessary weapons to win the battle.
I have thought of a few more life lessons besides that, including:
Saving Up Is Good
For many years, people always tried to advise me on what to do with my hard-earned money. Some of them that I should save up as much of it as I could. Others told me than I didn’t have to do that at all. Instead, I could choose to invest my money in some businesses and watch it grow on its own.
Well, I feel thankful that I decided to do both of them. I have investments here and there, and then my savings account gets regular deposits.
I am especially grateful for the latter because I need not worry about not having work for at least a couple of months during the quarantine. I know that so many people around the globe are struggling financially because of the pandemic. Instead of waiting for monetary aids, I can even help others with my savings.
Being An Introvert Is Not Bad These Days
My friends have always called me out for being an introvert. After all, they are the type of people who enjoy talking to strangers while I cannot even stand chatting with them for hours. I prefer to stay at home and be with my dogs instead of going out and socializing with people.
As it turns out, being an introvert is not a curse these days. Between my friends and I, I am the least bothered by this quarantine. I can spend an entire day in my garden doing quarantine while they are getting bored out of their minds. I never feel the need to break the rules; however, they come up with excuses to be able to go out.
Although I would never wish for my friends to contract the coronavirus, I knew that my introversion made me safer than anyone.
You Can Learn Anything When You Have Nothing Much To Do
I realized this fact when I ran out of bread for the first time during the quarantine. I was never interested in baking, but my local bakery was closed. Then, I saw a YouTube tutorial about it and thought that I should give it a try.
Without the stay-at-home order, I may have never tried baking at all. But now I am aware that I can do it and it’s more fun than I have expected. It shows that you can learn anything when you are left with nothing much to do.
We all need to stop protesting about the lockdowns and quarantines that govern different parts of the globe. If it is challenging for some to stay at home, it must be 20 times more difficult for the government officials and frontline workers to try to save us all from the coronavirus. Besides, there’s no reason to complain too much if:
- You have a comfortable house.
- You can buy anything you need.
- You can pick up any hobby you want.
Let’s all try to learn some valuable life lessons during this coronavirus outbreak. Agree?
The 2017 Self-Awareness Workshop was mind-opening for me. I could not imagine how a 60-minute workshop could increase my self-awareness and mindfulness, but it did. For twenty dollars, I believe, I learned something valuable about myself that lay dormant. I even had a great breakfast to go with that workshop!
Many professionals are engaged in providing services in the field of psychotherapy. These are the individuals who had gone through the required education and training before they were able to get the license to provide therapy for clients. Unfortunately, not all therapists have what it takes to help others. Some of them can be difficult to deal with. As such, instead of helping clients feel better, they may make matters worse.
If you are going to try therapy for the first time, be sure that you know the top qualities that your therapist must-have. Find time to research him so that you will not make a wrong move in selecting such a professional. Here are the top signs that indicate the necessity of standing up on your ground and finding the courage to walk out of a client-centered therapy session:
Your Therapist Does Not Have Empathy
One of the qualities that an excellent therapist or counselor must have is empathy. He must know how to make clients feel that the latter’s concerns or issues are being heard. If this is something that your professional mental health expert does not possess, then do not hesitate to drop his services. You will never feel okay about the situation as long as such a professional will continue to provide poor services.
There Is Difficulty In Communication
Are you not comfortable in discussing issues and problems with your therapist? Do you have many reservations that you keep to yourself during the therapy sessions? If you answered a big yes to these inquiries, then the best thing to do is to leave such a professional. Always keep in mind that the foundation of a successful client-therapist relationship is the ability of both parties to communicate freely. Hence, if this element is not available in your professional engagement with a therapist, then walk away today.
You Cannot Get Along Well
Does your therapist make you feel that he is superior over you? Is he challenging and frustrating to deal with? Take note that you must never force any interaction with someone who is only giving additional stress in your life. The moment you discover that your beliefs are different from your therapist, then do not feel sorry if you want to walk away. Just remember always to check if there is a contract or not.
The Sessions Are Highly Expensive
If you think that you can no longer afford the services of a counselor or therapist, then feel free to let him go. Keep in mind that therapy sessions can be expensive. You must have a sufficient amount of money before you book an appointment with a professional. Otherwise, you might not be able to get the best value for the services that you pay for. When doing this, be sure to inform your therapist why you have to do it. Be polite in talking to him about this matter. The primary goal is to make him understand that the ultimate reason for leaving is your failure to support the professional fees.
Just because you had a bad experience with a therapist recently does not mean that client-centered therapy is not effective. You must still give it a try!
Getting ill is expensive these days. Every appointment with a doctor can cost above a hundred dollars. If there is any medical procedure you need to undergo, the amount may increase by ten- or hundred-fold too. That, of course, is apart from the price that comes with each bottle of medicine prescribed by the physician.
In case you watch your diet and exercise regularly, though, you might wonder why you still catch a disease. Well, one suspect in such a scenario is the uncontrollable rage. This conflicting emotion can push you to overthink about whatever you hear and see; thus, you stress yourself out more often than not. Putting too much pressure on your system, if you must know, can lower your immunity and make your body a great host for bacteria and viruses.
To understand how to prevent your temper from ruining your health, here are some suggestions from anger management counseling specialists.
- Disperse It Before It Explodes
The fact that you ought to realize is that you are profoundly different from a candle wick that becomes lit as soon as fire touches it. No, human beings are more comparable to charcoal, which only glows in the beginning but can ignite into flames once it gets too hot.
All we’re trying to say here is that there are indications you can pick up before an anger explosion takes place. Your face might look red; your heart might beat a lot faster than usual as if you are running in the marathon. It is possible for you to grind your teeth or dig your nails into your palms as well. Aside from those, harsh words can rush through your mind and want to come out of your mouth at that instant.
The only way to disperse your fury, however, is knowing when these signs show up. Then, you’ll be able to regain your composure and avoid exploding.
- Think If Anger Is What You’re Feeling For Real
Assuming that a person is knowledgeable about the emoticons or emojis on their smartphone, it does not guarantee that he or she also understands every emotion that they experience. For instance, if you are already tired of waiting, you might express your impatience by bursting out in rage. In case you feel disappointed about the slow service at a restaurant, it is not beyond you either to harass the crew and make an embarrassing scene in public.
Whenever you do things like that, you should remember that the people you get angry with are not the only ones who become judged by the prying eyes. You are too. That is why you need to assess your real emotions and react to a situation accordingly.
- Seek Psychological Guidance
Considering you have tried all the alternative tricks to handle your temper but to no avail, then you should obtain anger management counseling. It is a type of therapy that can help you identify the root of your issues, as well as figure out the best techniques to switch to Zen mode at your will. The counselor will not require you to stay in counseling forever, so make sure to get it if you can’t deal with the side effects of uncontrollable rage anymore.
Keep the tips above in your memory bank the next time you feel angry. Good luck!
Seeing a therapist or counselor for the first time can be awkward, exciting and challenging all at the same time. You know why you need to see this professional, but you have no idea how to act once he is around. It is only normal to entertain negative thoughts or doubts about your first appointment. The truth is that each client-centered therapist understands why you feel that way.
In this article, we are going to list down or enumerate some tips on what to do during a therapy session. Make sure to remember these:
It can be easy to feel judged or misunderstood during a meeting with a therapist. You may think that he does not support you at all, especially if the professional keeps on challenging your views. However, this does not give you a right to be disrespectful to him. As much as possible, be open to different views or opinions about your current situation. Welcome the comments of the client-centered therapist because he only wants the best for you.
Stop giving your therapist a hard time in dealing with you. If you want to recover from a mental illness or reach your potentials fully, then be prepared to cooperate during the therapy sessions. Make an effort to connect or reach out to your counselor or therapist. Do not be reliant on his services because the reality is that without your cooperation, it would still be impossible to acquire the goals of client-centered therapy.
There are times when you may think that your therapist does not know what he is doing. This will make you question his strategies or methods in helping you become a better version of yourself. Unfortunately, this kind of thinking will only drag you down even more. Instead of constantly going against him, try to have an open mind. Keep yourself open to different possibilities. You will never know what is great for you until you try it out.
Every client in therapy sessions is reminded to remain honest and truthful at all times. Keep in mind that the therapist cannot help you if you keep a lot of things from him. Sometimes, all you must do is to let go of your thoughts and emotions. Learn how to remove your reservations so that you could move forward finally. This is the primary reason why it is essential to find a therapist whom you can trust or be comfortable with. Look for someone whom you can open up quickly and honestly.
Searching for an expert in client-centered therapy can be a tedious process. There are many professionals engaged in this field, but only a few of them are qualified to handle clients effectively. As such, find time to research more about the available therapists in your area and get in touch with the one who has an established name.
Believing in yourself is not easy. Every day, a lot of people deal with personal issues which may affect how we exude confidence and how we see ourselves. We have to learn how to value our selves so that we begin to trust others.
People tend to be depressed if we don’t realize our self-worth. Without self-worth, we will think that we don’t deserve any good things that are happening in our lives. Having the right mindset for self-worth is essential.
Realizing Your Self-Worth
Having self-worth means being able to see your real value as a person and accepting it. Each of us has our way of valuing themselves and assessing their worth. A lot of people fail to see their true value and become content with what they currently have.
Understanding your self-worth means valuing your innate self. It focuses more on how do you think you are as a person rather than what you do. Our lives can become easier when we realize our value. It may lead to healthier relationships with people around us.
In today’s age of social media, self-worth is not easy to achieve. We tend to measure our self-worth against those of others, and it is not a good thing. We should be paying attention to the intrinsic value instead.
Importance of Music Therapy
With our struggle to fully grasp our self-worth, there are different types of therapies available to aid us. Music Therapy is one of the treatments that can help us in our journey to find our true self-worth. As a universal language, music also has its healing power.
Music Therapy can be used to address various cognitive, social, and emotional issues in people. For people who are not good or are not comfortable with words or talking, music may be their outlet to express what they honestly feel. Simply listening to music or making music can give an avenue for expression and communication between a person and a therapist.
Self-Worth and Music Therapy
According to a study, music therapy can be used to improve self-worth and lower depression significantly. Depending on the person’s needs, music therapy can either be receptive or active. Receptive, in a way that people dance or listen to music; Active meaning it includes composing tunes or playing instruments.
As music gives us a calming effect, it enables us to think more clearly, sway away from negative thoughts, and allowing us to realize our true value. It also reduces any stress and anxiety we may feel. Music allows our minds to be soothed and great lyrics may help us become attached to the songs as well.
Often, when we hear our favorite song on the radio, or we hear a new song that we like, our moods are lifted. It is just one of the positive effects that music can bring us. Music has a powerful impact on most people especially if we can relate to the lyrics.
Realizing your self-worth does not only mean that you know your strengths but accepting your weaknesses as well. We must learn how to believe in ourselves confidently. Music can be an avenue to help us understand our self-worth and in turn, giving us the full potential to achieve our dreams and aspirations.
Throughout our lives, specific events and experiences occur that can damage our self-esteem. Whether it’s being embarrassed in front of other people, getting called names, or failing an exam, these small events can build up and contribute to damaging ourself-esteem.
Low self-esteem not only affects the way you think, but it can also affect your success in life in many ways. You lose the courage to take risks and put yourself in situations that will contribute to your growth as a person. It is why improving your self-esteem is vital, no matter what your plans are in life.
How Can Online Counseling Help?
When we have low self-esteem, we may feel that facing other people is a daunting task. It’s hard to talk about yourself and your problems when you think about everybody constantly judging you and your actions. A better alternative for seeing a therapist in person is consulting online. Through online counseling, you can feel more relaxed and open up easier since there is less pressure.
Various online counseling platforms are aimed at people who do not dare to see therapists in person. Some of these platforms are free, so monetary issues should not be a problem. These platforms are also ultra-convenient as you may choose to have them in a place that is most accessible to you, most probably in the comfort of your own home.
Online counseling is arguably the first step you should take in addressing your self-esteem issues. Everything becomes easier once you open up your feelings and realize that your problem happens to numerous other people, and there are ways to treat it.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a brief, goal-oriented form of psychotherapy focused on treating problems that occur in the present rather than issues that happened in your early development. Since this treatment is the choice for most psychological problems, you can rest easy knowing that it can also help you to treat your low self-esteem. As with online counseling, numerous platforms can provide you with CBT online.
There are various practices involved in CBT that can treat low self-esteem. One of them is cognitive restructuring, which recognizes destructive thinking patterns and replaces them with more effective patterns. This practice can apply to low self-esteem by identifying thoughts which damage the way you see yourself and replacing them with more uplifting notions.
When you have low self-esteem, it is very likely that you have difficulty in asking for what you want or need. Assertiveness training, another practice involved with CBT, can help with this by teaching you how to communicate with other people and deliver your message efficiently.
Social skills are also intertwined with low self-esteem. Hence, CBT aims to help a person learn how to interact with other people in a positive and rewarding way while decreasing negative social interactions. It is an essential skill to learn because social skills will get you a variety of opportunities that can contribute to your growth as a person.
Without a doubt, low self-esteem is a problem that can be detrimental to your growth as a person. It is for this reason alone that you should work to remove it from your life. The practices mentioned above will help you in doing this. However, you must understand that the battle can only be won from within, meaning you must give your all to succeed.
Have you ever been into this love-hate cycle with your partner? We see the negative things about our partner, and depending on how we convey our criticisms, conflicts arise. Sometimes, even disagreements in opinion about a third-party subject cause conflicts. Either way, it is people’s inherent differences that cause the divide.
Self-Awareness In The Context Of Relationships
Could it be that the way to reconciliation is a shift in perspective from the outside to the inside? That instead of spending our energies in trying to look for loopholes outside ourselves, can the way to peace be actually to see the cracks within us?
Psychiatrists have referred to this as self-awareness. In Daniel Goleman’s book entitled “Emotional Intelligence,” self-awareness is being able to know and observe our inner dispositions and intuitions. It is the ability to be able to see yourself and recognizing that your inner being is a whole new universe in itself.
Why do you think the way you do? What motivates you? What are your personal beliefs?
Self-awareness gives you the answer and the sensitivity to keep seeking. In the context of romantic relationships, self-awareness can help you big time.
Self-Control And Humility
Pride is the leading cause of disagreements and breakups. It comes from our natural human tendency to turn a blind eye to our mistakes. We do everything to deny that we’re also wrong. We tend to point fingers and blame others for the sufferings that we feel.
But when you become more aware of your imperfections and flaws, you’re prompted to stop and think about what you also did wrong. By being sensitive about your ability to hurt your partner, you are more likely to humble yourself and quit being too proud.
Because of the humbling experience of being more conscious about your transgressions, you are more likely to listen twice as you speak. You stop lashing out in anger and regret speaking hurtful words to your partner. Self-awareness is central to self-control.
By being self-aware, you will start to see that disagreements would reduce.
Honest And Open Communication
Another cause of conflict in relationships is not being able to communicate appropriately or not communicating at all. Sometimes, we don’t really mean what we say, but we say it nonetheless. We don’t always speak our minds properly.
But when you become more aware of what drives your emotions, you can convey more explicit messages about how you feel. You can speak with your partner with confidence and certainty because you know your inner dispositions. You can be completely honest, decisive, and expressive.
Because of the open and transparent communication, your partner will know you even better and determine how to handle your emotional ups and downs. This communication builds an attitude of understanding and an atmosphere of encouragement.
By being self-aware, you will see that there are more healthy conversations in the relationship.
Self-Worth And Esteem
Another problem in relationships is when you lose your sense of self. Because of your intimate relationship, you feel that you have lost your own identity. You’ve stopped recognizing yourself as anything apart from the relationship that you have, so you see the need to find yourself.
However, when you become more aware of your self-identity, you are at peace because you know who you were before the relationship and you know who you are now. Start appreciating yourself. Know your worth, celebrate your uniqueness, and love your flaws.
Because of the knowledge of your self-worth, you can keep pursuing your passions. You can still excel in your craft. Allow yourself to grow as an individual. The same should be true with your partner too. Only with the self-awareness will you wholeheartedly love yourself; only with self-love will you likewise love your partner genuinely.
By being self-aware, you will see that both you and your partner will be happier and more fulfilled.
This life’s a journey of losing and finding yourself. Start with becoming more self-aware. You will be surprised at how powerful it is in keeping your relationship and finding love that lasts.
Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” But before we come to that, one thing psychiatrists would tell you is that “tis better to love oneself first, then love another.”
Love, as believed by many, is one of the most precious emotions a human being can feel. Through time, it has been given many different definitions by as many different people. But one particular kind of love–one that is so fundamental–has been very meekly explored by people throughout the centuries. We are talking about the critical matter of self-love.
What does self-love do? And how can it pave the way for stronger relationships?
- Self-Love Enables You To Become Mindful
Loving yourself means knowing thyself. You acknowledge your needs and wants, your strengths and boundaries, and, ultimately, you realize the things you deserve. Above all, you know that you deserve to be loved as much as you love yourself.
With this knowledge, you know that your relationship with your significant other does not define you. It’s the love you have for yourself and the love you both have for each other.
- Self-Love Teaches You To Forgive Yourself
Loving yourself means knowing your limits. And accepting these boundaries. You realize that not every situation requires an affirmative “yes.” Sometimes you have to say “no,” and when they ask why, it’s because you simply love yourself.
Being aware of the existence of your limits makes you mindful of the fact that your significant other has his or her limits, too. And there’s nothing else to do rather than to support one another.
- Self-Love Embraces Your Imperfections
Loving yourself means knowing you can never be truly perfect. But, you can be the best version of yourself. When you love yourself, you accept your curves and edges, and you know that there are no standards to perfection. When you accept yourself, you erase negativity in life and focus on the beautiful, positive things.
As you accept yourself, you also accept the imperfections of your significant other. This mutual acceptance nurtures a more profound bond and a stronger love.
- Self-Love Paves The Way For Self Growth
Loving yourself means always searching for growth. You acknowledge the fact that your soul is thirsty, and you feed it through experiences. These experiences need not be big, grand, and fabulous events. When you appreciate growth, you also value the small things that lead to growth. You know that without these small fractures of events, the grandiose will not happen.
Placing high importance on self-growth, you know that your significant other needs to grow, too. Together, you move forward in life, nourish yourselves, and do not get trapped in the past.
When you love yourself, you learn to value the great power of love. You eliminate toxicity and focus on nurturing the positive things. Loving yourself does not mean becoming selfish and self-centered. Loving yourself means knowing you deserve love. And, equally, when you love yourself, you know that every human being in this world deserves love.