What To Do In Client-Centered Therapy

Seeing a therapist or counselor for the first time can be awkward, exciting and challenging all at the same time. You know why you need to see this professional, but you have no idea how to act once he is around. It is only normal to entertain negative thoughts or doubts about your first appointment. The truth is that each client-centered therapist understands why you feel that way.


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In this article, we are going to list down or enumerate some tips on what to do during a therapy session. Make sure to remember these:


Be Respectful


It can be easy to feel judged or misunderstood during a meeting with a therapist. You may think that he does not support you at all, especially if the professional keeps on challenging your views. However, this does not give you a right to be disrespectful to him. As much as possible, be open to different views or opinions about your current situation. Welcome the comments of the client-centered therapist because he only wants the best for you.


Be Cooperative


Stop giving your therapist a hard time in dealing with you. If you want to recover from a mental illness or reach your potentials fully, then be prepared to cooperate during the therapy sessions. Make an effort to connect or reach out to your counselor or therapist. Do not be reliant on his services because the reality is that without your cooperation, it would still be impossible to acquire the goals of client-centered therapy.


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Be Open-Minded


There are times when you may think that your therapist does not know what he is doing. This will make you question his strategies or methods in helping you become a better version of yourself. Unfortunately, this kind of thinking will only drag you down even more. Instead of constantly going against him, try to have an open mind. Keep yourself open to different possibilities. You will never know what is great for you until you try it out.


Be Truthful


Every client in therapy sessions is reminded to remain honest and truthful at all times. Keep in mind that the therapist cannot help you if you keep a lot of things from him. Sometimes, all you must do is to let go of your thoughts and emotions. Learn how to remove your reservations so that you could move forward finally. This is the primary reason why it is essential to find a therapist whom you can trust or be comfortable with. Look for someone whom you can open up quickly and honestly.


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Searching for an expert in client-centered therapy can be a tedious process. There are many professionals engaged in this field, but only a few of them are qualified to handle clients effectively. As such, find time to research more about the available therapists in your area and get in touch with the one who has an established name.


Find Your Self-Worth Through Music Therapy


Believing in yourself is not easy. Every day, a lot of people deal with personal issues which may affect how we exude confidence and how we see ourselves. We have to learn how to value our selves so that we begin to trust others.


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People tend to be depressed if we don’t realize our self-worth. Without self-worth, we will think that we don’t deserve any good things that are happening in our lives. Having the right mindset for self-worth is essential.


Realizing Your Self-Worth

Having self-worth means being able to see your real value as a person and accepting it. Each of us has our way of valuing themselves and assessing their worth. A lot of people fail to see their true value and become content with what they currently have.


Understanding your self-worth means valuing your innate self. It focuses more on how do you think you are as a person rather than what you do. Our lives can become easier when we realize our value. It may lead to healthier relationships with people around us.


In today’s age of social media, self-worth is not easy to achieve. We tend to measure our self-worth against those of others, and it is not a good thing. We should be paying attention to the intrinsic value instead.


Importance of Music Therapy

With our struggle to fully grasp our self-worth, there are different types of therapies available to aid us. Music Therapy is one of the treatments that can help us in our journey to find our true self-worth. As a universal language, music also has its healing power.

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Music Therapy can be used to address various cognitive, social, and emotional issues in people. For people who are not good or are not comfortable with words or talking, music may be their outlet to express what they honestly feel.  Simply listening to music or making music can give an avenue for expression and communication between a person and a therapist.


Self-Worth and Music Therapy

According to a study, music therapy can be used to improve self-worth and lower depression significantly. Depending on the person’s needs, music therapy can either be receptive or active. Receptive, in a way that people dance or listen to music; Active meaning it includes composing tunes or playing instruments.


As music gives us a calming effect, it enables us to think more clearly, sway away from negative thoughts, and allowing us to realize our true value. It also reduces any stress and anxiety we may feel. Music allows our minds to be soothed and great lyrics may help us become attached to the songs as well.


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Often, when we hear our favorite song on the radio, or we hear a new song that we like, our moods are lifted. It is just one of the positive effects that music can bring us. Music has a powerful impact on most people especially if we can relate to the lyrics.


Realizing your self-worth does not only mean that you know your strengths but accepting your weaknesses as well. We must learn how to believe in ourselves confidently. Music can be an avenue to help us understand our self-worth and in turn, giving us the full potential to achieve our dreams and aspirations.







Love Oneself First, Then Love Another


Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” But before we come to that, one thing psychiatrists would tell you is that “tis better to love oneself first, then love another.”

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Love, as believed by many, is one of the most precious emotions a human being can feel. Through time, it has been given many different definitions by as many different people. But one particular kind of love–one that is so fundamental–has been very meekly explored by people throughout the centuries. We are talking about the critical matter of self-love.


What does self-love do? And how can it pave the way for stronger relationships?


  • Self-Love Enables You To Become Mindful


Loving yourself means knowing thyself. You acknowledge your needs and wants, your strengths and boundaries, and, ultimately, you realize the things you deserve. Above all, you know that you deserve to be loved as much as you love yourself.


With this knowledge, you know that your relationship with your significant other does not define you. It’s the love you have for yourself and the love you both have for each other.


  • Self-Love Teaches You To Forgive Yourself

Loving yourself means knowing your limits. And accepting these boundaries. You realize that not every situation requires an affirmative “yes.” Sometimes you have to say “no,” and when they ask why, it’s because you simply love yourself.

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Being aware of the existence of your limits makes you mindful of the fact that your significant other has his or her limits, too. And there’s nothing else to do rather than to support one another.


  • Self-Love Embraces Your Imperfections

Loving yourself means knowing you can never be truly perfect. But, you can be the best version of yourself. When you love yourself, you accept your curves and edges, and you know that there are no standards to perfection. When you accept yourself, you erase negativity in life and focus on the beautiful, positive things.


As you accept yourself, you also accept the imperfections of your significant other. This mutual acceptance nurtures a more profound bond and a stronger love.


  • Self-Love Paves The Way For Self Growth

Loving yourself means always searching for growth. You acknowledge the fact that your soul is thirsty, and you feed it through experiences. These experiences need not be big, grand, and fabulous events. When you appreciate growth, you also value the small things that lead to growth. You know that without these small fractures of events, the grandiose will not happen.


Placing high importance on self-growth, you know that your significant other needs to grow, too. Together, you move forward in life, nourish yourselves, and do not get trapped in the past.

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When you love yourself, you learn to value the great power of love. You eliminate toxicity and focus on nurturing the positive things. Loving yourself does not mean becoming selfish and self-centered. Loving yourself means knowing you deserve love. And, equally, when you love yourself, you know that every human being in this world deserves love.




3 Reasons Why You Should Go For Individual Counseling Before Marriage 

Marriage is a lifetime bond between two individuals. Specifically, this union needs two whole and functioning individuals for it to be successful.

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On the other hand, the reality is that it is increasingly difficult to make a marriage work. Divorce is becoming a trend among couples. What is the reason behind this rise in divorce rates? Divorcees usually attribute the dissolution of marriage to marital instability and also due to the shortcomings of the other partner. The reason is typically attributed to the partner’s unresolved personal issues and inability to positively contribute to the marriage.


The process of divorce can get ugly. Even seemingly perfect marriages can lead to divorce.


Going through counseling before marriage can reduce the likelihood of divorce in the long run. Know more about the top 3 reasons why.


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  1. Counseling Addresses Past Emotional Hang-Ups

In counseling, a therapist will be able to process your life experiences, with your consent. Let’s face it. Some emotional hang-ups haunt us for life. These hang-ups could be from childhood experiences which


There are also those hang-ups that can potentially interfere with your marriage. A therapist will be able to foresee these hang-ups and stop it from causing other problems in your life.


  1. You Will Gain Valuable Tips To Overcome Everyday Battles

Counseling does not only mean getting over your emotional problems. Going through counseling can also help you manage your day-to-day emotional hurdles. How? Specifically, you can get over your obstacles because of the practical advice from therapists.


Your therapist can only monitor your progress better if you go for therapy often. Thus, the frequency of treatment before heading for marriage is also necessary. Increased frequency of therapy can translate to mastering coping mechanisms essential for married life.


  1. Counseling Prepares You For Married Life

Marriage means living together with a completely different individual. If you are not prepared emotionally and psychologically, how can you rise to address challenges ahead?


Going through counseling leads to a healthier sense of self. Therapists address your emotional burdens through an entirely professional method. Also, therapists are trained to identify your strengths and build on them. They are also trained to detect potential stressors in your environment so you will be able to recognize them instantly.


At the end of this process, you begin to love and appreciate yourself more. As a result, you will be able to contribute more to your marriage.

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Marriage is just the beginning of family life. Taking it one step further, having children is an entirely different battle. Nurturing children can be challenging. Counseling can serve as mental preparation for what lies ahead. Thus, children will be spared from having parental issues later on. They will be able to have happy memories with their parents.


Beginnings are easy for many people. It is easy to say that you will commit to something. However, when push comes to shove, a lot of people also find it easy to bail out. This train of thought also applies to marriage. With counseling, you will be able to adapt to the daily challenges of your union. You will also gain the benefits of having a fulfilled sense of self.







How To Set Healthy Boundaries In Your Relationship

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There have been a lot of arguments about the kinds of boundaries that couples should set – and what they can actually do – for their relationships. Some may claim that they don’t need these boundaries, as their partners should already know each other’s limitations. But the truth is that if your relationship is healthy, then it must have boundaries. It can’t be strong and productive until both partners convey their restrictions clearly, and each partner respects them. Boundaries MUST be set because they don’t get organized inherently, and they’re not easily created as well.

Here is a comparison of healthy and unhealthy qualities in a relationship:


You are accountable for making your own happiness.

You have friends other than the ones you and your partner make.

You accept endings.

Communication is honest and open.

You acknowledge that you have differences.


You feel incomplete and unimportant without your partner.

You are manipulative of your partner.

You are in a jealous relationship.

You are hesitant and afraid to express how you truly feel.

You can’t let go even if you have to.

You are not happy without your partner.

Independent boundaries are important no matter how big or small, and they need to be respected. Below is an example of a simple boundary and a serious boundary, to help you have a better understanding of the concept.

Simple Boundary

Your partner has made known to you that he is sensitive to his things so you need to ask him first before using them. You need to call a friend but then your phone is dead. You decide to borrow your partner’s phone but he’s asleep, so you just decide to use it anyway.

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In this example, the boundary set may be really, really simple, and yet this may be a big deal for your partner. Remember that you already know how he feels about his belongings. It is a small thing to ask but nevertheless, you have disrespected it.

Serious Boundary

You have honestly told your partner that you are the type who doesn’t want to be controlled in a relationship, especially when it comes to family and friends. Your partner calls you one night and asks you if you have plans, and you tell him that you’re going to a friend’s birthday party. Your partner says you can’t go but if you insist, he won’t go with you to your family reunion. Just because you don’t want that to happen, you make an excuse not to attend your friend’s birthday.

Here, it is clear that you don’t want to be someone who is controlling and manipulative. Not only did your partner disrespect your boundary; you yourself were not strong in standing by your own boundary.

Whether you think that the boundary set by your partner is major or not, it shouldn’t be neglected or disrespected. If, on the other hand, you are inconsistent with your own boundary because you are scared of your partner or you just don’t want a fight, then it’s a huge red light. Healthy relationships don’t feed on fear and manipulation.

Want your partner to feel loved, respected, and valued? Here’s what you do:

Listen to your partner so you’ll know what he or she wants. If there is something that you want to say, be honest. Perhaps you can meet halfway.

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Don’t put words into your partner’s mouth. If she sets the boundary, don’t tell her that she said otherwise just so you can get your way. Make an effort to show him or her that you recognize the boundaries and you follow through with actions.


Let go if you have to. When all boundaries have been set and all efforts have been done to respect those boundaries, yet both seem to find a compromise, perhaps it’s time to move on.






How To Love Someone Without Losing Yourself

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When you’re starting a relationship, you seem oblivious to what problems or future situations you’ll go through. You and your partner are initially at your best and feeling like you’re the best for each other. You don’t want anything to spoil the intimate connection so you strive to share and do everything together. The bond becomes stronger and you think more about your future with the person you love. Eventually, you will see yourself as a reflection of him, as two people become one.

However, as the ‘unification’ continues, you may realize later that you have lost your independent self. True, becoming one is a celebration of love and togetherness. But the journey doesn’t typically happen smoothly, and in the long run, you might not be able to take the fact that you have lost yourself in the relationship. So where did you end and where did your partner begin to engulf your identity?

Losing Your Identity

Once you realize this, there is a higher likelihood that you will grow bitter about giving up some crucial parts of yourself, particularly if your sacrifices and compromises are the usual demands of your partner. This will gradually create internal stress and tension, and the things that you do for the relationship will no longer be voluntary – you will feel that it’s something that you are forced to do. As this continues, feelings of resentment, worthlessness, depression, and insecurity will creep in.


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Let’s consider this example. You and your partner go to a wedding, and when all single ladies are asked to go in front of the single men to dance with, your partner doesn’t dance with you. How would you feel? That your partner doesn’t value you? Is he ashamed to be with you? Or is the relationship simply one-sided – where obviously the side isn’t on yours? Once you constantly think about being on the losing side, you fight for your right to be heard and then you grow angry with your partner and the whole relationship.

Your Forgotten Self

For a lot of couples, taking senseless stands may be because of your need to release the suppressed parts of yourself. You have forgotten that you do have a self, one that is separate from the relationship. However, if you aren’t able to express it as sensibly and freely, you will eventually feel invalidated and ultimately, lost. This intense version of you will not only affect your relationship negatively but your attitude outside of the relationship as well.

If you think that you and your partner have this kind of relationship now, or if you feel that it is going there, do talk to him about it. You can even see a therapist if you need help dealing with it. A relationship between two people in love should be positive and filled with respect for each other. Positive reciprocal relationships must inspire partners to give themselves both of you respect each other’s independence and limitations. You should feel happy, confident, and free. But if you feel otherwise, perhaps your borders aren’t being valued.

Final Thoughts

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Feelings of anger, insecurity, and resentment can ultimately destroy relationships. In most circumstances, you may need to look for a way out. On the other hand, if you and your partner are willing to change, creating boundaries for each other won’t be difficult, and both of you have sufficient space to grow and improve. The less helpless you feel, the more respect you have for each other, and the positive environment for the relationship and for each of you will flourish.




Why New York Therapists Are Challenged Every Single Day

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Almost 20% of adults living in New York City suffer from a mental health issue. That is 1 out of 5 adults which means, it could be you or workmate who has depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, a type of addiction, an eating disorder, or whatever else it is that people have to handle every day. But those who absorb all the stress (they call it challenges) are the therapists of these New Yorkers with issues.

Take for instance Psychologist Beth Sloan from NJ. She is severely protective of her clients. Beth has participated in their personal difficulties during their meetings, and she is concerned about them even after they have parted ways. Beth really wants them to be happy with their lives, in a truly genuine way. But as a human being, Beth mentions that she had this one client in the past that she really hated. Her exact word was “hate.”


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Beth said in an interview that every time 2PM would arrive, she would get anxious. Her stomach would get tight, and that’s how she knows she dreaded this particular client of hers who happens to be her 2 o’clock appointment. She would come in with her designer things, full of shopping bags in her arms and then, as she sits, she would complain about how small her husband provides for her at $2,500 a week. Beth says that her client’s “short” allowance is as much as her earnings as a full-time therapist for seven days.

She would feel terrible to think that way of her client, but Beth didn’t care for her as much as the other clients. In her mind, this particular patient was ungrateful of her privileged life, a life that others would want to have. She has it but doesn’t see how lucky she is for having money in her bag, a designer bag for that matter. Beth, as a human being and not just a therapist, felt that her 2PM is a soulless individual.

You could say that the 2PM client is what typical New Yorker is with mental health issues. People like her are disgracefully neurotic and truly egocentric. In a 2015 study by the New York City Department of Health, 20% of adults living in New York City are clinically depressed or suffering from a mental health issue. The statistic is quite high in New York compared to the 6.7% data nationally. It doesn’t exclude mental health professionals like counselors and therapists. If these city people are feeling hopeless, what do you think do the experts feel like who are treating these individuals?

Another therapist named Sherry Amatenstein, a certified clinical social worker, says that they are just people and that they have feelings too like the rest of us. They do care a lot, and at times, it is so heavy for them too. They can also get annoyed, irritated, and mad. Living in New York, people have to learn how to move at a fast pace. Often, they are driven by deadlines, and they are obsessed with everything – mostly if related to work. Even during therapy, people will treat it as a work thing by asking how long it will take to “cure” their issues. Now, isn’t that a bit irritating?


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People want instant gratification. They ask questions like “How many meetings do we need to do before I get cured?” or “Will this take a long time to complete?” For most therapists, small talk with these types of clients is unbearable. Clients can become rude by not focusing on the session – answering their phones or doing something else. At times, there is a shout fest, when clients don’t hear what they want to hear from the therapist. It is even more difficult to be faced with clients who have a narcissistic personality disorder, those with aggressive behavior, and people who are allergic to change.

Well, the only way to deal with that, according to another psychologist (Eli from Brooklyn), is to look past their annoying behavior and see their redeeming qualities. As a therapist, one must look for a way in, a thing for you to connect with your client even if he is obnoxious. How to look for that “thing” is your challenge.

No one is inherently bad. It is good for everyone. Look for that positive thing and who knows, the session will be much smoother.


Thoughts Of A Woman About To Divorce Her Husband



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I never imagined that I would be in this position right now. In my hand, I am holding five pieces of paper full of legal words and only one sign has caught my eye – divorce. I will be divorcing my husband of 20 years, and you know what, it pains me even after everything I’ve been through with him. These five pieces of paper hold what is to happen to my future. A tear fell which rolled on my cheek. I had to wipe it. There is no turning back now. I will be single again, after 20 years, as if it was so easy.

My husband and I have five children. Mirah is nineteen, about to finish her college degree and a soccer varsity player. Maia is sixteen and a Junior (she skipped a grade, brilliant young lady). Michelle is in the sixth grade, artistic and a great cartoonist. Mitch is exceptional – he has ADHD but is high-functioning. My baby Mimi is still in Playschool. All our children are gifted and precious. Any woman would want to save the marriage for the sake of love and family.


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I came from a broken home, and I promised myself that I will do anything in my power to keep my family whole. But what if I have to break that promise so that I can save myself? Will it be selfish of me to prioritize myself instead of keeping the family intact? I closed my eyes, and I felt my hands shaking. The five pieces of paper still clutched in my hand. Should I do this or do I walk away and accept that I am forever bound to him? I took a deep breath and sat down on the bench behind me.

Is it worth it to save this marriage or do I have to wake up and smell the garbage – as my grandmother would say? I look at the five pieces of paper in my hand. If I decide to give this to the clerk, then, my divorce will be final. I remember my children, and I also think of myself. Can I sacrifice more of myself just so my kids can say that they are not from a broken family? Why does it have to be so complicated?


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Suddenly, my phone alerted, and there she was my grandmother. She sent me a text message. Her text made me reassess the situation I was facing at the moment. “You can’t give love to your children if there is nothing left in you. I don’t want you to die of heartache, sacrificing yourself in a respect-less and loveless marriage. Starting right now, it must be YOU first. That doesn’t make you a bad mother. Actually, it makes you a better person if you do that.”

She’s right. I can’t live my life with him anymore. I have to live my life for me. And so, after a few seconds of a deep breath, I stood up and fixed myself. “Hi. Can you point me to the clerk?” I asked the person in front of me. She said, “I’m the clerk. How can I help you?” I smiled at her and then, looked at those five pieces of paper in my hand.



Hypnotherapy For Mental Health Issues Like Stress


Experts say that stress isn’t always a bad thing. If you are experiencing it in small doses, it can make you productive. You will be able to complete or perform well even when pressured, and it will move you to do your best. They call this the “emergency mode.” The problem arises when this “emergency mode” becomes regular. Your body will eventually drain you out, and your mental health will suffer the consequences as well.

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If you are always overwhelmed or astounded by your actions or situations, then, that is bad stress taking you down. You need to take care of yourself and protect your nervous system. Chronic stress is dangerous to both your physical and mental well-being. Do you know the signs of chronic stress?


Signs And Symptoms Of Chronic Stress


Cognitive Issues

  • Memory lapses
  • Cannot focus
  • Weak in decision-making
  • Negative thinker
  • Restless
  • Nerve-wracking


Emotional Issues

  • Very sad or depressed
  • Anxiety and distress
  • Grumpiness, bad temper, or rage
  • Feeling incredulous
  • Isolating oneself
  • Other mental or emotional concerns


Physical Issues

  • Body pains
  • Change in bowel movement
  • Queasiness or light-headedness
  • Palpitations
  • Low libido
  • A recurring cough and cold


Behavioral Issues

  • Overeating or not eating much
  • Insomnia or too much sleep
  • Withdrawal from friends and family
  • Dawdling or disregarding responsibilities
  • Use of substances like alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax


Will Medication Help?

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The problem with the medication is that it is short term. Its effect will wear off, and you will hang on to the cycle of getting another dose since it will only temporarily get rid of the symptoms of stress. In the long run of taking medication, it will most likely cause potential health damages which can be irreversible.


How About Hypnotherapy?


This is what makes hypnotherapy different. After one session, the results are evident. For just an hour with a hypnotherapist, you will have a better perspective of your situation. You will feel better about yourself. This will enable you to stop stress before it destroys you and pills aren’t necessary.


What’s best is that hypnotherapy is entirely natural. Your hypnotherapist will directly talk to you and guide your unconscious mind. No more expensive medications needed. In hypnotherapy, you will receive genuine support and learn of methods to anticipate stress. You will get rid of it from the roots. The number of sessions will depend on the level of stress you need to resolve. Gradually, session after session, your stress issues will be reduced.


Is Hypnotherapy For Real?


Hypnotherapists are trained professionals in dealing with problems and their effects on people. They provide you with ways on how to manage stress based on your issue, your lifestyle and your ability while medication has a blanket approach. It is the same pill for everybody.

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Although it’s true that by just having someone to listen to your issues, it will somehow lift some weight off of your shoulders; it doesn’t do much compared to what a hypnotherapist can do. During the session, you will get unbiased and professional recommendations. You will be able to feel at ease, and you can say what you want to say. You will not get just advice but techniques and practical solutions that you can immediately execute to be in control of your life right away.

Building Resilience: A Philosophical Argument For Forming Habits


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Redirecting Yourself:


Many people suffer from a lack of motivation or something that leads them to have a hard time pursuing their goals. Learning to implement certain methods into your lifestyle can make a huge difference in your productivity and success. Habits, defined as an acquired behavior regularly followed until it is basically an involuntary action, while they can be good or bad and are often picked up unintentionally, they are also something that we can choose to instill in ourselves. By identifying and harnessing your unique strengths, you can begin to more efficiently contribute to the workplace as well as feel a greater sense of well-being from this newfound capability and independence.

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Philosophize This:


William James, renowned as the father of American psychology, had much to say on the subject of human behavior patterns and how they shape our character. His theories relied on a neurological interpretation of the brain, famously writing about habits and the plasticity of the brain, if you exercise ability, like any other muscle, it becomes more within your control. Over time, you become more capable of influencing your own behavior through selective control of your own emotions and reactions. When you commit something to habit, your brain is essentially learning to do the task more easily, using less cognitive energy.

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Neuroscience Behind Habit:


Optimizing your everyday behaviors and committing them to automatism frees up the higher powers of your mind to more important or more complex issues. As James said,“any sequence of mental action which has been frequently repeated tends to perpetuate itself; so that we find ourselves automatically prompted to think, feel, or do what we have been before accustomed to think, feel, or do, under like circumstances, without any consciously formed purpose, or anticipation of results.”Several areas of the brain have been implicated in the formation or maintenance of habits, including the basal ganglia and brain stem. They lie on a circuit within the brain referred to as the habit loop, shown to be implicated in compulsive eating, betting, shopping, masturbating, and other compulsive behaviors.


Seeking Help in Habit-Forming:


For many, breaking old habits or establishing healthier habits is easier said than done. Getting direction from a professional in which ways are best to approach your particular issue can help you to begin to work towards your best self. BetterHelp is an online resource that helps connect people in need of professional attention with the appropriate mental health professional. With the coming of the digital age, gone are the days where the only access to mental health counseling was a nerve-wracking office visit. Online interfaces like BetterHelp allow for remote access to patients that may not have otherwise sought help.


James suggested that “the great thing, then, in all education, is to make our nervous system our ally instead of our enemy.” With assistance from a professional, you can get your maladaptive habits under control or begin to establish new ones, helping to break old patterns and work towards a healthier existence.