Category: Self-awareness

The worst year for my family was hands-down 2020. When we experienced a lot of pain and turmoil, we did not know how we could get over everything. I even thought, “Is this it for us?”

Please don’t get me wrong – I am not talking about anything related to the COVID-19 pandemic. My parents, sisters, and I were safe from the virus as my folks’ house had a cellar with a year worth of food supplies. Our family business also created face masks, which meant that our sales became ten times higher than usual. Instead, I am talking about the emotional ordeal we went through after discovering that my middle sister chose to become some guy’s mistress, hoping he would leave girlfriend #1 someday.

How Did We Find Out?

I worked late in the office one night when I received a call from my sister, Anne. She rarely called me unless she could not contact Mom. Hence, when I clicked the Answer button, I greeted her with, “I’m not home yet. I—” 

I had to stop midsentence as all I heard were muffled sobs in the other line.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Sis, Mark is getting married,” Anne said. 

Her cries became louder, but I could not sympathize with her as I was confused.

“Am I supposed to know who Mark is?” I asked again.

“H-He was my suitor four years ago.”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, although I still could not place him in my head. “So, congratulation to him. What’s the big deal?”

“I might be pregnant with his baby. We had been trying for years, and—” 

“Hold on.” I interrupted my sister sharply. “I know it’s still April, but it’s way past April 1st. Stop trying to pull my leg.”

In between sobs, Anne told me how Mark promised to leave his girlfriend/live-in partner if my sister got pregnant. Stupidly enough, my sister allowed that guy to manipulate her as he kept saying that he only wanted a baby with her. Before our call ended, my head was already prepared to explode, but I had to say something when she asked me not to tell our parents yet.

“Heck, I’m not lying for you,” I uttered. “You’re going home today to confess to Mom and Dad. They would be angry and careless with their words, but you’d have no choice but to accept them because you brought this problem to yourself when you agreed to that sick arrangement even if Mark was already shacking up with his girlfriend.”

What Happened To My Sister?

The first thing my parents did was take my sister to an OB-GYN. If Anne was not pregnant, life should move on. If she were, we would take care of her needs without letting that stupid guy know about it. When the doctor confirmed that my sister was not expected, we thought she’d be happy. We were delighted, after all. However, it seemed like she was still hoping to be pregnant to steal Mark before his wedding.

That made my parents finally angry. They banned my sister from leaving the house without any of us; she was supposed to work in our company as well so that we could all watch her moves. It was micro-managing at its best, but Anne left us with no other choice.

What we failed to account for was the development of atypical depression in my sister.

What are atypical features?

 Atypical features indicate major depressive disorder’s predominant symptoms, namely overeating, extreme hopelessness, and oversleeping. 

What is atypical anxiety?

 Atypical anxiety refers to a type of anxiety that mental health professionals cannot distinguish. It is often due to the presence of unusual symptoms or subsyndromal complaints.

What is the most serious form of depression?

 Clinical depression is the most severe mood disorder. The person can experience its symptoms longer than two weeks.

What are the four types of depression?

• Persistent depressive disorder
• Dysthymia
• Bipolar disorder
• Seasonal affective disorder

How do I know if I’m bipolar?

 You can tell that you are bipolar when your moods and thoughts are always at the extremes. For instance, you feel sleepy and lifeless sometimes, but then you feel too pumped and optimistic about resting other times.

What are the four types of bipolar?

• Cyclothymic: It is a mild type of bipolar disorder in which a person’s mood changes cyclically. Despite that, the line that separates depression from mania is still blurred.
• Bipolar I: Manic symptoms are prevalent in this type of disorder. Some people end up in the hospital when they have bipolar I as they often act without considering if the activity is dangerous.
• Bipolar II: Major depressive symptoms are prevalent in bipolar II patients, although mild mania may still be detected. Hence, an individual may experience severe fatigue, sleeplessness, and suicidal thoughts. 
• Medical-/Substance-induced: This type of disorder comes with a set of symptoms that do not fall under the categories mentioned above. It is often caused by medical conditions or substance abuse.

What triggers bipolar?

 Any of the following can trigger bipolar disorder:

• Financial issues
• Work-related problems
• Personal disputes
• Stress
• Sleep changes

Can bipolar people tell they are bipolar?

 No, not all bipolar people can figure out that they have the disorder until a mental health professional diagnoses.

Does Bipolar get worse as you age?

 Yes, bipolar disorder can get worse as you age. However, that may not happen when you try to treat it as soon as the diagnosis comes.

Is bipolar inherited from mother or father?

 Bipolar disorder can be inherited from either parent.

Can people with bipolar work?

 Yes, people with bipolar disorder can work. In truth, many mental health professionals recommend it since having a job keeps them too busy to feel depressed or act on their manic thoughts.

Can a bipolar person live without medication?

 Yes, a bipolar person can live without medication. However, you need to get other forms of treatment (e.g., therapy) to prevent the disorder from worsening.

Is bipolar considered a disability?

 Yes, bipolar disorder is technically a disability. Still, getting diagnosed with this mental condition does not immediately entail that you can receive disability payments.

Can a bipolar person be successful?

 Yes, a bipolar person can be successful as long as you can deal with the symptoms effectively.

Final Thoughts

It was crazy how someone could give everything to another person without an ounce of guarantee that they would not drop you like a hot potato. I might never understand my sister’s principles in life, but I could hope that she would see her faults soon and figure out how to fix her life.

Due to the coronavirus, the government required all the citizens of specific states to self-isolate. You may go out to purchase essentials, but that’s it—after shopping, you need to return home immediately. However, I took the isolation order to heart; that’s why I did not leave the house for exactly 70 days.

Whenever I needed to buy groceries, I would fill my cart online and deliver the items at my doorstep. If I could not find stuff there, I could hire a local delivery person to get them from the store for me.

But the highlight of the quarantine was the things that I realized while staying isolated from everyone. Here they are:

I Don’t Need Too Many Friends

Before going into isolation, I could not stand not to talk with at least ten people I considered as friends. Some of them were neighbors and colleagues; others were former classmates in high school and college. I used to think that having as many friends as possible was the reason for my happiness.

This idea merely changed when the quarantine orders came, and I could no longer see all my friends. The one I frequently at the lobby of the apartment building lived a floor above mine, but we could not chat for long. I managed to call the others almost every day, but it gradually decreased as the days passed.

 The change did not come because my friends stopped answering me, no. I just realized that I did not need too many friends on my side. Instead, I should be happy with one or two individuals who would never leave my side.

I Can Survive A Week Without Partying

I refuse to see myself as a party animal, although that’s a nickname that my family has been linking to me for years. They say that it is because I act like my week cannot be complete if I cannot go clubbing.

In truth, I cannot blame my loved ones for painting me that way in their minds. Ever since I turned 21 years old, I made an unspoken vow to party at least once a week. It was technically a reward for myself for getting through the weekdays. Besides, I enjoyed drinking and dancing with friends too much, so I did not want to pass up an opportunity to hit the clubs with them.

Despite that, the quarantine forced me to stop partying with anyone. None of the bars and clubs that my friends and I used to visit were closed for an indefinite period. Even meeting them during the day became inadvisable. I am merely not complaining about it now because it has made me see that I can survive a week—or a month—without partying.

I Feel Better When I Eat Healthily

I am no different from other young adults who are trying to make it big in the metro. I work for morning till night on weekdays; I live in a tiny apartment with two roommates to be able to pay the rent. This setup does not bother me, to be honest, considering it is easy to eat at fast-food chains.

However, as everyone stayed at home due to the coronavirus, most restaurants in my city had to shut down. A handful of them was stubborn enough to remain open, but they could only handle a few clients every day. Thus, my roommates and I had no choice but to buy a portable gas stove and cook our meals.

Was it effortless for us? No! Sometimes, we would eat scorched rice or soggy noodles; other times, we would have half-burnt-half-undercooked meat. But once we got the hang of cooking, we managed to cook healthy meals, which made me feel better than ever.

Final Thoughts

I cannot promise that I won’t go back to my old habits once the quarantine is 100% done. Still, I already know better than to overdo everything, so I won’t go crazy when it comes to friendships, parties, and fast foods.

I went to the 2019 Psychic Event and it was quite different. Any non-intuitive person would agree with me on that. The reason I went there was to accompany my friend who always shared to me about her “third eye.” She was gifted with the “sight” as she would say but as for me, I am not really a 100% believer of psychics and their craft. And besides, this topic is a taboo to many. So I decided to go with her on that event to see for myself what a psychic is all about.

Continue reading “Looking At Psychics From A Non-Psychic View”

Learning about myself through the 2019 Self-Awareness Event was a positive move for me. I have not been myself for the past two decades, I could say, and that is because of loving the wrong person. My husband of twenty years recently left me for a younger woman, and I devoted myself to him and our two children, without thinking of myself. Like I said, I loved the wrong person. I should have loved myself the most.

Continue reading “Self-Awareness And Self-Love”

The 2017 Self-Awareness Workshop was mind-opening for me. I could not imagine how a 60-minute workshop could increase my self-awareness and mindfulness, but it did. For twenty dollars, I believe, I learned something valuable about myself that lay dormant. I even had a great breakfast to go with that workshop!

Continue reading “Mindfulness And Business – A Winning Combination”

Many professionals are engaged in providing services in the field of psychotherapy. These are the individuals who had gone through the required education and training before they were able to get the license to provide therapy for clients. Unfortunately, not all therapists have what it takes to help others. Some of them can be difficult to deal with. As such, instead of helping clients feel better, they may make matters worse.

 

 

If you are going to try therapy for the first time, be sure that you know the top qualities that your therapist must-have. Find time to research him so that you will not make a wrong move in selecting such a professional. Here are the top signs that indicate the necessity of standing up on your ground and finding the courage to walk out of a client-centered therapy session:

 

Your Therapist Does Not Have Empathy

 

One of the qualities that an excellent therapist or counselor must have is empathy. He must know how to make clients feel that the latter’s concerns or issues are being heard. If this is something that your professional mental health expert does not possess, then do not hesitate to drop his services. You will never feel okay about the situation as long as such a professional will continue to provide poor services.

 

 

 

There Is Difficulty In Communication

 

Are you not comfortable in discussing issues and problems with your therapist? Do you have many reservations that you keep to yourself during the therapy sessions? If you answered a big yes to these inquiries, then the best thing to do is to leave such a professional. Always keep in mind that the foundation of a successful client-therapist relationship is the ability of both parties to communicate freely. Hence, if this element is not available in your professional engagement with a therapist, then walk away today.

 

 You Cannot Get Along Well

 

Does your therapist make you feel that he is superior over you? Is he challenging and frustrating to deal with? Take note that you must never force any interaction with someone who is only giving additional stress in your life. The moment you discover that your beliefs are different from your therapist, then do not feel sorry if you want to walk away. Just remember always to check if there is a contract or not.

 

 

 

The Sessions Are Highly Expensive

 

If you think that you can no longer afford the services of a counselor or therapist, then feel free to let him go. Keep in mind that therapy sessions can be expensive. You must have a sufficient amount of money before you book an appointment with a professional. Otherwise, you might not be able to get the best value for the services that you pay for. When doing this, be sure to inform your therapist why you have to do it. Be polite in talking to him about this matter. The primary goal is to make him understand that the ultimate reason for leaving is your failure to support the professional fees.

 

Just because you had a bad experience with a therapist recently does not mean that client-centered therapy is not effective. You must still give it a try!

 

 

Getting ill is expensive these days. Every appointment with a doctor can cost above a hundred dollars. If there is any medical procedure you need to undergo, the amount may increase by ten- or hundred-fold too. That, of course, is apart from the price that comes with each bottle of medicine prescribed by the physician.

In case you watch your diet and exercise regularly, though, you might wonder why you still catch a disease. Well, one suspect in such a scenario is the uncontrollable rage. This conflicting emotion can push you to overthink about whatever you hear and see; thus, you stress yourself out more often than not. Putting too much pressure on your system, if you must know, can lower your immunity and make your body a great host for bacteria and viruses.

To understand how to prevent your temper from ruining your health, here are some suggestions from anger management counseling specialists.

 

1. Disperse It Before It Explodes

The fact that you ought to realize is that you are profoundly different from a candle wick that becomes lit as soon as fire touches it. No, human beings are more comparable to charcoal, which only glows in the beginning but can ignite into flames once it gets too hot.

All we’re trying to say here is that there are indications you can pick up before an anger explosion takes place. Your face might look red; your heart might beat a lot faster than usual as if you are running in the marathon. It is possible for you to grind your teeth or dig your nails into your palms as well. Aside from those, harsh words can rush through your mind and want to come out of your mouth at that instant.

The only way to disperse your fury, however, is knowing when these signs show up. Then, you’ll be able to regain your composure and avoid exploding.

2. Think If Anger Is What You’re Feeling For Real

Assuming that a person is knowledgeable about the emoticons or emojis on their smartphone, it does not guarantee that he or she also understands every emotion that they experience. For instance, if you are already tired of waiting, you might express your impatience by bursting out in rage. In case you feel disappointed about the slow service at a restaurant, it is not beyond you either to harass the crew and make an embarrassing scene in public.

Whenever you do things like that, you should remember that the people you get angry with are not the only ones who become judged by the prying eyes. You are too. That is why you need to assess your real emotions and react to a situation accordingly.

 

 

 

3. Seek Psychological Guidance

Considering you have tried all the alternative tricks to handle your temper but to no avail, then you should obtain anger management counseling. It is a type of therapy that can help you identify the root of your issues, as well as figure out the best techniques to switch to Zen mode at your will. The counselor will not require you to stay in counseling forever, so make sure to get it if you can’t deal with the side effects of uncontrollable rage anymore.

 

Keep the tips above in your memory bank the next time you feel angry. Good luck!

 

Throughout our lives, specific events and experiences occur that can damage our self-esteem. Whether it’s being embarrassed in front of other people, getting called names, or failing an exam, these small events can build up and contribute to damaging ourself-esteem.

 

Low self-esteem not only affects the way you think, but it can also affect your success in life in many ways. You lose the courage to take risks and put yourself in situations that will contribute to your growth as a person. It is why improving your self-esteem is vital, no matter what your plans are in life.

How Can Online Counseling Help?

When we have low self-esteem, we may feel that facing other people is a daunting task. It’s hard to talk about yourself and your problems when you think about everybody constantly judging you and your actions. A better alternative for seeing a therapist in person is consulting online. Through online counseling, you can feel more relaxed and open up easier since there is less pressure.

Various online counseling platforms are aimed at people who do not dare to see therapists in person. Some of these platforms are free, so monetary issues should not be a problem. These platforms are also ultra-convenient as you may choose to have them in a place that is most accessible to you, most probably in the comfort of your own home.

Online counseling is arguably the first step you should take in addressing your self-esteem issues. Everything becomes easier once you open up your feelings and realize that your problem happens to numerous other people, and there are ways to treat it.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a brief, goal-oriented form of psychotherapy focused on treating problems that occur in the present rather than issues that happened in your early development. Since this treatment is the choice for most psychological problems, you can rest easy knowing that it can also help you to treat your low self-esteem. As with online counseling, numerous platforms can provide you with CBT online.

There are various practices involved in CBT that can treat low self-esteem. One of them is cognitive restructuring, which recognizes destructive thinking patterns and replaces them with more effective patterns. This practice can apply to low self-esteem by identifying thoughts which damage the way you see yourself and replacing them with more uplifting notions.

When you have low self-esteem, it is very likely that you have difficulty in asking for what you want or need. Assertiveness training, another practice involved with CBT, can help with this by teaching you how to communicate with other people and deliver your message efficiently.

Social skills are also intertwined with low self-esteem. Hence, CBT aims to help a person learn how to interact with other people in a positive and rewarding way while decreasing negative social interactions. It is an essential skill to learn because social skills will get you a variety of opportunities that can contribute to your growth as a person.

Without a doubt, low self-esteem is a problem that can be detrimental to your growth as a person. It is for this reason alone that you should work to remove it from your life. The practices mentioned above will help you in doing this. However, you must understand that the battle can only be won from within, meaning you must give your all to succeed.

 

 

 

Have you ever been into this love-hate cycle with your partner? We see the negative things about our partner, and depending on how we convey our criticisms, conflicts arise. Sometimes, even disagreements in opinion about a third-party subject cause conflicts. Either way, it is people’s inherent differences that cause the divide.

 

 

Self-Awareness In The Context Of Relationships

Could it be that the way to reconciliation is a shift in perspective from the outside to the inside? That instead of spending our energies in trying to look for loopholes outside ourselves, can the way to peace be actually to see the cracks within us?

 

Psychiatrists have referred to this as self-awareness. In Daniel Goleman’s book entitled “Emotional Intelligence,” self-awareness is being able to know and observe our inner dispositions and intuitions. It is the ability to be able to see yourself and recognizing that your inner being is a whole new universe in itself.

 

Why do you think the way you do? What motivates you? What are your personal beliefs?

Self-awareness gives you the answer and the sensitivity to keep seeking. In the context of romantic relationships, self-awareness can help you big time.

 

 

Self-Control And Humility

Pride is the leading cause of disagreements and breakups. It comes from our natural human tendency to turn a blind eye to our mistakes. We do everything to deny that we’re also wrong. We tend to point fingers and blame others for the sufferings that we feel.

 

But when you become more aware of your imperfections and flaws, you’re prompted to stop and think about what you also did wrong. By being sensitive about your ability to hurt your partner, you are more likely to humble yourself and quit being too proud.

 

Because of the humbling experience of being more conscious about your transgressions, you are more likely to listen twice as you speak. You stop lashing out in anger and regret speaking hurtful words to your partner. Self-awareness is central to self-control.

By being self-aware, you will start to see that disagreements would reduce.

 

 

Honest And Open Communication

Another cause of conflict in relationships is not being able to communicate appropriately or not communicating at all. Sometimes, we don’t really mean what we say, but we say it nonetheless. We don’t always speak our minds properly.

 

But when you become more aware of what drives your emotions, you can convey more explicit messages about how you feel. You can speak with your partner with confidence and certainty because you know your inner dispositions. You can be completely honest, decisive, and expressive.

 

Because of the open and transparent communication, your partner will know you even better and determine how to handle your emotional ups and downs. This communication builds an attitude of understanding and an atmosphere of encouragement.

 

By being self-aware, you will see that there are more healthy conversations in the relationship.

 

 

Self-Worth And Esteem

Another problem in relationships is when you lose your sense of self. Because of your intimate relationship, you feel that you have lost your own identity. You’ve stopped recognizing yourself as anything apart from the relationship that you have, so you see the need to find yourself.

 

However, when you become more aware of your self-identity, you are at peace because you know who you were before the relationship and you know who you are now. Start appreciating yourself. Know your worth, celebrate your uniqueness, and love your flaws.

 

Because of the knowledge of your self-worth, you can keep pursuing your passions. You can still excel in your craft. Allow yourself to grow as an individual. The same should be true with your partner too. Only with the self-awareness will you wholeheartedly love yourself; only with self-love will you likewise love your partner genuinely.

 

By being self-aware, you will see that both you and your partner will be happier and more fulfilled.

 

This life’s a journey of losing and finding yourself. Start with becoming more self-aware. You will be surprised at how powerful it is in keeping your relationship and finding love that lasts.

 

 

Jealousy is a familiar feeling in relationships. After all, it is part of human nature to be jealous. But it becomes problematic when you let your jealousy take the reigns of your relationship. So before this unpredictable venomous killer drives your relationship to doom, learn how to prevent and control this beast!

 

• Accept That You’re Jealous

Before anything else, you need to recognize that you are feeling jealous. According to Dr. Hibbert, author of This Is How We Grow; jealousy loses its hold on you when you acknowledge its presence. Accepting that you are feeling jealous also means that you are opening the door to learning, which is the next step.

 

It is not enough to acknowledge this feeling; you must take this feeling as an inspiration to learn something new! Dr. Hibbert has an interesting example from her book. When a person is jealous of someone’s guitar skills, it is most likely because this person wants to do that, too. Instead of wallowing in jealousy, this person can sign up for guitar lessons and learn the art, themselves!

 

• Take A Good Look At Yourself

It is important to recognize that jealousy is a stress response. Jealousy is further amplified when you are already feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Practicing mindfulness is thus essential. All you need is a little bit of self-care to ease this jealousy that you are feeling.

 

Often, jealousy thrives on your insecurities. Researched showed that people with secure attachments to others and their caregivers tend to feel less jealous. Whenever you are feeling jealous, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

 

• Do you feel the sense of emptiness and lack of self-worth?
• Were you raised in a critical and suppressing environment?
• How well is your relationship with parents/caregivers?

 

Other than that, you need to remind yourself of the positive qualities that your partner loves yourself. Out of all the people of this world, your partner chose you! Your partner must have seen something in you that puts you above everyone else.

 

• Communicate With Your Partner

As Dr. Craig Malkin puts it, “connection is the cure for jealousy.” Instead of hinting your jealousy with passive-aggressive action, it is essential you and your partner talk it out. You can express your jealousy through humorous jabs or in a calm coffee date. Whatever way you choose, the most important thing is that you relayed your feelings softly and maturely.

 

 

Expressing your jealousy may get you a bit worked up, so always keep in mind to be calm. Acting on your jealousy is never a wise thing to do. After all, there is a reason why jealousy is considered the venomous killer of any relationship.

 

 

But, most important of all, you need to put trust in your relationship. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. As long as you have confidence in your partner and yourself, then jealousy won’t be able to control your relationship!

 

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