Have you ever been into this love-hate cycle with your partner? We see the negative things about our partner, and depending on how we convey our criticisms, conflicts arise. Sometimes, even disagreements in opinion about a third-party subject cause conflicts. Either way, it is people’s inherent differences that cause the divide.
Self-Awareness In The Context Of Relationships
Could it be that the way to reconciliation is a shift in perspective from the outside to the inside? That instead of spending our energies in trying to look for loopholes outside ourselves, can the way to peace be actually to see the cracks within us?
Psychiatrists have referred to this as self-awareness. In Daniel Goleman’s book entitled “Emotional Intelligence,” self-awareness is being able to know and observe our inner dispositions and intuitions. It is the ability to be able to see yourself and recognizing that your inner being is a whole new universe in itself.
Why do you think the way you do? What motivates you? What are your personal beliefs?
Self-awareness gives you the answer and the sensitivity to keep seeking. In the context of romantic relationships, self-awareness can help you big time.
Self-Control And Humility
Pride is the leading cause of disagreements and breakups. It comes from our natural human tendency to turn a blind eye to our mistakes. We do everything to deny that we’re also wrong. We tend to point fingers and blame others for the sufferings that we feel.
But when you become more aware of your imperfections and flaws, you’re prompted to stop and think about what you also did wrong. By being sensitive about your ability to hurt your partner, you are more likely to humble yourself and quit being too proud.
Because of the humbling experience of being more conscious about your transgressions, you are more likely to listen twice as you speak. You stop lashing out in anger and regret speaking hurtful words to your partner. Self-awareness is central to self-control.
By being self-aware, you will start to see that disagreements would reduce.
Honest And Open Communication
Another cause of conflict in relationships is not being able to communicate appropriately or not communicating at all. Sometimes, we don’t really mean what we say, but we say it nonetheless. We don’t always speak our minds properly.
But when you become more aware of what drives your emotions, you can convey more explicit messages about how you feel. You can speak with your partner with confidence and certainty because you know your inner dispositions. You can be completely honest, decisive, and expressive.
Because of the open and transparent communication, your partner will know you even better and determine how to handle your emotional ups and downs. This communication builds an attitude of understanding and an atmosphere of encouragement.
By being self-aware, you will see that there are more healthy conversations in the relationship.
Self-Worth And Esteem
Another problem in relationships is when you lose your sense of self. Because of your intimate relationship, you feel that you have lost your own identity. You’ve stopped recognizing yourself as anything apart from the relationship that you have, so you see the need to find yourself.
However, when you become more aware of your self-identity, you are at peace because you know who you were before the relationship and you know who you are now. Start appreciating yourself. Know your worth, celebrate your uniqueness, and love your flaws.
Because of the knowledge of your self-worth, you can keep pursuing your passions. You can still excel in your craft. Allow yourself to grow as an individual. The same should be true with your partner too. Only with the self-awareness will you wholeheartedly love yourself; only with self-love will you likewise love your partner genuinely.
By being self-aware, you will see that both you and your partner will be happier and more fulfilled.
This life’s a journey of losing and finding yourself. Start with becoming more self-aware. You will be surprised at how powerful it is in keeping your relationship and finding love that lasts.