How To Control The Venomous Killer Of Relationships: Jealousy

Jealousy is a familiar feeling in relationships. After all, it is part of human nature to be jealous. But it becomes problematic when you let your jealousy take the reigns of your relationship. So before this unpredictable venomous killer drives your relationship to doom, learn how to prevent and control this beast!

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  • Accept That You’re Jealous

Before anything else, you need to recognize that you are feeling jealous. According to Dr. Hibbert, author of This Is How We Grow; jealousy loses its hold on you when you acknowledge its presence. Accepting that you are feeling jealous also means that you are opening the door to learning, which is the next step.

 

It is not enough to acknowledge this feeling; you must take this feeling as an inspiration to learn something new! Dr. Hibbert has an interesting example from her book. When a person is jealous of someone’s guitar skills, it is most likely because this person wants to do that, too. Instead of wallowing in jealousy, this person can sign up for guitar lessons and learn the art, themselves!

 

  • Take A Good Look At Yourself

It is important to recognize that jealousy is a stress response. Jealousy is further amplified when you are already feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Practicing mindfulness is thus essential. All you need is a little bit of self-care to ease this jealousy that you are feeling.

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Often, jealousy thrives on your insecurities. Researched showed that people with secure attachments to others and their caregivers tend to feel less jealous. Whenever you are feeling jealous, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

 

  • Do you feel the sense of emptiness and lack of self-worth?
  • Were you raised in a critical and suppressing environment?
  • How well is your relationship with parents/caregivers?

 

Other than that, you need to remind yourself of the positive qualities that your partner loves yourself. Out of all the people of this world, your partner chose you! Your partner must have seen something in you that puts you above everyone else.

 

  • Communicate With Your Partner

As Dr. Craig Malkin puts it, “connection is the cure for jealousy.” Instead of hinting your jealousy with passive-aggressive action, it is essential you and your partner talk it out. You can express your jealousy through humorous jabs or in a calm coffee date. Whatever way you choose, the most important thing is that you relayed your feelings softly and maturely.

 

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Expressing your jealousy may get you a bit worked up, so always keep in mind to be calm. Acting on your jealousy is never a wise thing to do. After all, there is a reason why jealousy is considered the venomous killer of any relationship.

 

 

But, most important of all, you need to put trust in your relationship. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. As long as you have confidence in your partner and yourself, then jealousy won’t be able to control your relationship!

 

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