Raising Your Self-Esteem Through Online Therapy

 

Throughout our lives, specific events and experiences occur that can damage our self-esteem. Whether it’s being embarrassed in front of other people, getting called names, or failing an exam, these small events can build up and contribute to damaging ourself-esteem.

 

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Low self-esteem not only affects the way you think, but it can also affect your success in life in many ways. You lose the courage to take risks and put yourself in situations that will contribute to your growth as a person. It is why improving your self-esteem is vital, no matter what your plans are in life.

How Can Online Counseling Help?

When we have low self-esteem, we may feel that facing other people is a daunting task. It’s hard to talk about yourself and your problems when you think about everybody constantly judging you and your actions. A better alternative for seeing a therapist in person is consulting online. Through online counseling, you can feel more relaxed and open up easier since there is less pressure.

Various online counseling platforms are aimed at people who do not dare to see therapists in person. Some of these platforms are free, so monetary issues should not be a problem. These platforms are also ultra-convenient as you may choose to have them in a place that is most accessible to you, most probably in the comfort of your own home.

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Online counseling is arguably the first step you should take in addressing your self-esteem issues. Everything becomes easier once you open up your feelings and realize that your problem happens to numerous other people, and there are ways to treat it.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a brief, goal-oriented form of psychotherapy focused on treating problems that occur in the present rather than issues that happened in your early development. Since this treatment is the choice for most psychological problems, you can rest easy knowing that it can also help you to treat your low self-esteem. As with online counseling, numerous platforms can provide you with CBT online.

There are various practices involved in CBT that can treat low self-esteem. One of them is cognitive restructuring, which recognizes destructive thinking patterns and replaces them with more effective patterns. This practice can apply to low self-esteem by identifying thoughts which damage the way you see yourself and replacing them with more uplifting notions.

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When you have low self-esteem, it is very likely that you have difficulty in asking for what you want or need. Assertiveness training, another practice involved with CBT, can help with this by teaching you how to communicate with other people and deliver your message efficiently.

Social skills are also intertwined with low self-esteem. Hence, CBT aims to help a person learn how to interact with other people in a positive and rewarding way while decreasing negative social interactions. It is an essential skill to learn because social skills will get you a variety of opportunities that can contribute to your growth as a person.

Without a doubt, low self-esteem is a problem that can be detrimental to your growth as a person. It is for this reason alone that you should work to remove it from your life. The practices mentioned above will help you in doing this. However, you must understand that the battle can only be won from within, meaning you must give your all to succeed.

 

 

 

How Self-Awareness Creates Lasting Relationships According To A Psychiatrist

Have you ever been into this love-hate cycle with your partner? We see the negative things about our partner, and depending on how we convey our criticisms, conflicts arise. Sometimes, even disagreements in opinion about a third-party subject cause conflicts. Either way, it is people’s inherent differences that cause the divide.

 

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Self-Awareness In The Context Of Relationships

Could it be that the way to reconciliation is a shift in perspective from the outside to the inside? That instead of spending our energies in trying to look for loopholes outside ourselves, can the way to peace be actually to see the cracks within us?

 

Psychiatrists have referred to this as self-awareness. In Daniel Goleman’s book entitled “Emotional Intelligence,” self-awareness is being able to know and observe our inner dispositions and intuitions. It is the ability to be able to see yourself and recognizing that your inner being is a whole new universe in itself.

 

Why do you think the way you do? What motivates you? What are your personal beliefs?

Self-awareness gives you the answer and the sensitivity to keep seeking. In the context of romantic relationships, self-awareness can help you big time.

 

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Self-Control And Humility

Pride is the leading cause of disagreements and breakups. It comes from our natural human tendency to turn a blind eye to our mistakes. We do everything to deny that we’re also wrong. We tend to point fingers and blame others for the sufferings that we feel.

 

But when you become more aware of your imperfections and flaws, you’re prompted to stop and think about what you also did wrong. By being sensitive about your ability to hurt your partner, you are more likely to humble yourself and quit being too proud.

 

Because of the humbling experience of being more conscious about your transgressions, you are more likely to listen twice as you speak. You stop lashing out in anger and regret speaking hurtful words to your partner. Self-awareness is central to self-control.

By being self-aware, you will start to see that disagreements would reduce.

 

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Honest And Open Communication

Another cause of conflict in relationships is not being able to communicate appropriately or not communicating at all. Sometimes, we don’t really mean what we say, but we say it nonetheless. We don’t always speak our minds properly.

 

But when you become more aware of what drives your emotions, you can convey more explicit messages about how you feel. You can speak with your partner with confidence and certainty because you know your inner dispositions. You can be completely honest, decisive, and expressive.

 

Because of the open and transparent communication, your partner will know you even better and determine how to handle your emotional ups and downs. This communication builds an attitude of understanding and an atmosphere of encouragement.

 

By being self-aware, you will see that there are more healthy conversations in the relationship.

 

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Self-Worth And Esteem

Another problem in relationships is when you lose your sense of self. Because of your intimate relationship, you feel that you have lost your own identity. You’ve stopped recognizing yourself as anything apart from the relationship that you have, so you see the need to find yourself.

 

However, when you become more aware of your self-identity, you are at peace because you know who you were before the relationship and you know who you are now. Start appreciating yourself. Know your worth, celebrate your uniqueness, and love your flaws.

 

Because of the knowledge of your self-worth, you can keep pursuing your passions. You can still excel in your craft. Allow yourself to grow as an individual. The same should be true with your partner too. Only with the self-awareness will you wholeheartedly love yourself; only with self-love will you likewise love your partner genuinely.

 

By being self-aware, you will see that both you and your partner will be happier and more fulfilled.

 

This life’s a journey of losing and finding yourself. Start with becoming more self-aware. You will be surprised at how powerful it is in keeping your relationship and finding love that lasts.

 

 

Love Oneself First, Then Love Another

 

Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” But before we come to that, one thing psychiatrists would tell you is that “tis better to love oneself first, then love another.”

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Love, as believed by many, is one of the most precious emotions a human being can feel. Through time, it has been given many different definitions by as many different people. But one particular kind of love–one that is so fundamental–has been very meekly explored by people throughout the centuries. We are talking about the critical matter of self-love.

 

What does self-love do? And how can it pave the way for stronger relationships?

 

  • Self-Love Enables You To Become Mindful

 

Loving yourself means knowing thyself. You acknowledge your needs and wants, your strengths and boundaries, and, ultimately, you realize the things you deserve. Above all, you know that you deserve to be loved as much as you love yourself.

 

With this knowledge, you know that your relationship with your significant other does not define you. It’s the love you have for yourself and the love you both have for each other.

 

  • Self-Love Teaches You To Forgive Yourself

Loving yourself means knowing your limits. And accepting these boundaries. You realize that not every situation requires an affirmative “yes.” Sometimes you have to say “no,” and when they ask why, it’s because you simply love yourself.

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Being aware of the existence of your limits makes you mindful of the fact that your significant other has his or her limits, too. And there’s nothing else to do rather than to support one another.

 

  • Self-Love Embraces Your Imperfections

Loving yourself means knowing you can never be truly perfect. But, you can be the best version of yourself. When you love yourself, you accept your curves and edges, and you know that there are no standards to perfection. When you accept yourself, you erase negativity in life and focus on the beautiful, positive things.

 

As you accept yourself, you also accept the imperfections of your significant other. This mutual acceptance nurtures a more profound bond and a stronger love.

 

  • Self-Love Paves The Way For Self Growth

Loving yourself means always searching for growth. You acknowledge the fact that your soul is thirsty, and you feed it through experiences. These experiences need not be big, grand, and fabulous events. When you appreciate growth, you also value the small things that lead to growth. You know that without these small fractures of events, the grandiose will not happen.

 

Placing high importance on self-growth, you know that your significant other needs to grow, too. Together, you move forward in life, nourish yourselves, and do not get trapped in the past.

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When you love yourself, you learn to value the great power of love. You eliminate toxicity and focus on nurturing the positive things. Loving yourself does not mean becoming selfish and self-centered. Loving yourself means knowing you deserve love. And, equally, when you love yourself, you know that every human being in this world deserves love.

 

 

 

3 Reasons Why You Should Go For Individual Counseling Before Marriage 

Marriage is a lifetime bond between two individuals. Specifically, this union needs two whole and functioning individuals for it to be successful.

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On the other hand, the reality is that it is increasingly difficult to make a marriage work. Divorce is becoming a trend among couples. What is the reason behind this rise in divorce rates? Divorcees usually attribute the dissolution of marriage to marital instability and also due to the shortcomings of the other partner. The reason is typically attributed to the partner’s unresolved personal issues and inability to positively contribute to the marriage.

 

The process of divorce can get ugly. Even seemingly perfect marriages can lead to divorce.

 

Going through counseling before marriage can reduce the likelihood of divorce in the long run. Know more about the top 3 reasons why.

 

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  1. Counseling Addresses Past Emotional Hang-Ups

In counseling, a therapist will be able to process your life experiences, with your consent. Let’s face it. Some emotional hang-ups haunt us for life. These hang-ups could be from childhood experiences which

 

There are also those hang-ups that can potentially interfere with your marriage. A therapist will be able to foresee these hang-ups and stop it from causing other problems in your life.

 

  1. You Will Gain Valuable Tips To Overcome Everyday Battles

Counseling does not only mean getting over your emotional problems. Going through counseling can also help you manage your day-to-day emotional hurdles. How? Specifically, you can get over your obstacles because of the practical advice from therapists.

 

Your therapist can only monitor your progress better if you go for therapy often. Thus, the frequency of treatment before heading for marriage is also necessary. Increased frequency of therapy can translate to mastering coping mechanisms essential for married life.

 

  1. Counseling Prepares You For Married Life

Marriage means living together with a completely different individual. If you are not prepared emotionally and psychologically, how can you rise to address challenges ahead?

 

Going through counseling leads to a healthier sense of self. Therapists address your emotional burdens through an entirely professional method. Also, therapists are trained to identify your strengths and build on them. They are also trained to detect potential stressors in your environment so you will be able to recognize them instantly.

 

At the end of this process, you begin to love and appreciate yourself more. As a result, you will be able to contribute more to your marriage.

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Marriage is just the beginning of family life. Taking it one step further, having children is an entirely different battle. Nurturing children can be challenging. Counseling can serve as mental preparation for what lies ahead. Thus, children will be spared from having parental issues later on. They will be able to have happy memories with their parents.

 

Beginnings are easy for many people. It is easy to say that you will commit to something. However, when push comes to shove, a lot of people also find it easy to bail out. This train of thought also applies to marriage. With counseling, you will be able to adapt to the daily challenges of your union. You will also gain the benefits of having a fulfilled sense of self.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Control The Venomous Killer Of Relationships: Jealousy

Jealousy is a familiar feeling in relationships. After all, it is part of human nature to be jealous. But it becomes problematic when you let your jealousy take the reigns of your relationship. So before this unpredictable venomous killer drives your relationship to doom, learn how to prevent and control this beast!

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  • Accept That You’re Jealous

Before anything else, you need to recognize that you are feeling jealous. According to Dr. Hibbert, author of This Is How We Grow; jealousy loses its hold on you when you acknowledge its presence. Accepting that you are feeling jealous also means that you are opening the door to learning, which is the next step.

 

It is not enough to acknowledge this feeling; you must take this feeling as an inspiration to learn something new! Dr. Hibbert has an interesting example from her book. When a person is jealous of someone’s guitar skills, it is most likely because this person wants to do that, too. Instead of wallowing in jealousy, this person can sign up for guitar lessons and learn the art, themselves!

 

  • Take A Good Look At Yourself

It is important to recognize that jealousy is a stress response. Jealousy is further amplified when you are already feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Practicing mindfulness is thus essential. All you need is a little bit of self-care to ease this jealousy that you are feeling.

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Often, jealousy thrives on your insecurities. Researched showed that people with secure attachments to others and their caregivers tend to feel less jealous. Whenever you are feeling jealous, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

 

  • Do you feel the sense of emptiness and lack of self-worth?
  • Were you raised in a critical and suppressing environment?
  • How well is your relationship with parents/caregivers?

 

Other than that, you need to remind yourself of the positive qualities that your partner loves yourself. Out of all the people of this world, your partner chose you! Your partner must have seen something in you that puts you above everyone else.

 

  • Communicate With Your Partner

As Dr. Craig Malkin puts it, “connection is the cure for jealousy.” Instead of hinting your jealousy with passive-aggressive action, it is essential you and your partner talk it out. You can express your jealousy through humorous jabs or in a calm coffee date. Whatever way you choose, the most important thing is that you relayed your feelings softly and maturely.

 

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Expressing your jealousy may get you a bit worked up, so always keep in mind to be calm. Acting on your jealousy is never a wise thing to do. After all, there is a reason why jealousy is considered the venomous killer of any relationship.

 

 

But, most important of all, you need to put trust in your relationship. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. As long as you have confidence in your partner and yourself, then jealousy won’t be able to control your relationship!

 

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How To Improve Your Marriage

 

 

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In couples who are already together for a long time, it is possible that problems and issues would arise. Heated arguments may happen, and you seem to notice that the sparks you both used to have died.

 

 

 

Lack of intimacy, financial security, and even different priorities are just some common problems that couples face in their marriage. These things often lead to more serious issues, such as having an extramarital affair, legal separation, and even domestic violence. However, before these things go out of hand, you have to know the cause of your marriage problems. Are they still fixable? Or is it about time to walk away?

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Common Problems In A Married Couple

For couples who are experiencing problems in their marriage, they usually tend to fight over the same things over and over again. Sure, it is common to have arguments with your partner, especially now that you are living under the same roof.

 

However, the real reason for the arguments should be noted. Some fights are often seen petty, such as dirty laundry, and even the tiniest details like how your partner prepares the meals. But things can easily go out of hand and escalate to bigger fights.

 

But truth be told, these issues are rooted in a much bigger problem. Financial security, lack of intimacy, and even your different priorities in life are just some of the most familiar issues a married couple might face. But how would you know the real problem?

 

In some cases, red flags are already showing, but the problem is you don’t seem to acknowledge them. So is it too late to fix your marriage? In some cases, it can still be fixed and mended.

 

Steps In Fixing Your Marriage

In every kind of relationship, whether romantic or not, everything should be talked openly. In marriage, you vowed to each other that whatever happens, you got each other’s backs. So what can you do to resolve your issues? Here are some steps that you can do to fix your marriage before it’s too late.

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  • Communicate With Each Other

You can never know or express the problem if you don’t talk about it. Having your partner means that you have someone to share the burden of being an adult, and having constant communication with each other makes room for fewer arguments.

 

  • Focus On Yourself

Accept your flaws and learn how to fix them. Marriage is a two-way process, and you have to make compromises and sacrifices if you want to make it work. At the same time, improving yourself helps you more than it helps anyone else.

 

  • Learn How To Construct Your Concerns

Communication is essential, but knowing how to deliver your message with a positive impact is better. In telling your partner your concerns, it is critical to focus on what they did wrong, instead of the person. Telling them that you don’t like what they did sets a boundary that you don’t hate the person, but rather the act they did.

 

  • Make Decisions Together

In a romantic relationship, you are not just thinking about yourself anymore, more so when you get married. You have to think of yourselves as partners, in whatever you do, you have to consider and include the opinion of the other person. Sure, you have to meet halfway and compromise at times, but including your partner in the equation leads to a healthier married life.

 

  • Remove 3 A’s (Affair, Anger, Addictions)

These 3 A’s ruin a marriage. They are below-the-belt issues that lead marriages on the brink of separation. However, in giving your relationship a shot, it is essential to remove all of these things in your system completely.

 

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Give Your Partner’s Self-Esteem A Boost With These 6 Tips

 

Self-esteem is essentially a person’s private business. However, as a loving partner, you can be part of the journey towards acceptance and self-love. Becoming a supportive and encouraging partner can be a great way to boost your loved one’s self-esteem. Showcase to your partner how much you love him or her by helping them promote their self-esteem. There’s no greater joy than knowing you have contributed to the betterment of your loved one.

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These six tips will help you give your partner’s self-esteem a much-needed boost:

 

  • Shower Them With Compliments Every Day

Compliments are not limited to physical appearance. While your partner does have nice hair and a cute butt, do not forget the value of non-physical traits. Always remind your partner that he or she is a kind, caring, responsible, loving, and thoughtful human being. Extend your compliments to what’s on the inside, because that’s where the real beauty is.

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  • Praise Your Partner’s Clothing

Let your loved one know what particular pieces of clothing complements his or her body the best. Let them be aware of the specific color and style that suits them the best. In addition to this, let them know of the particular clothing that doesn’t work with them, as well. Boost their self-esteem by becoming vocal about the things that flatter them the best, and the least.

 

  • Practice Unconditional Acceptance

Unconditional love is what we always say, but we should still practice unconditional acceptance. Nobody is perfect, and that includes your loved one. Some things cannot be changed when it comes to your partner, so don’t drag their self-esteem down by huffing at those qualities. Instead, promote self-love by accepting your partner for whatever and whomever he or she is, and be vocal about it.

 

  • Do Not Bring Them Down For Their Failures

Everybody makes mistakes, and your partner is not an exception. Do not bring them down for the mistakes they have made in the past, or for the one they may be made in the future. Mistakes are a part of our lives. Instead, help your partner become a better person by making them aware of their mistakes and assisting them in the best way you can. Acknowledge the existence of these mistakes, and embark on a journey of correcting them.

 

  • Always Be Considerate Of Your Partner’s Opinions

Make your partner feel valued by putting importance on his or her opinions and suggestions. There’s nothing more degrading than feeling as if your words don’t matter. Always have a listening ear for your partner, and figure out your choices and solutions together.

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  • Shower Them With Love In Public

Hold your partner’s hand in public, shower them with compliments in the eyes of a crowd, brag about your partner–these simple actions can significantly help your partner boost his or her self-esteem. Tell your partner’s family how much of a thoughtful soul he or she is. Tell the barista how beautiful or handsome your partner looks today. Have other people recognize your partner’s good qualities to help make him or her realize his or her worth.

 

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Teaching Emotional Literacy To Children

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The topic of how emotional literacy helps in achieving higher education, stronger relationships, and optimal health has been prevalent lately. Emotional intelligence is something that parents can teach their children. It is the person’s capacity to manage his emotions, while emotional literacy is his capacity to convey his emotions into words. But overall, both pertain to one’s ability to identify, comprehend, deal with and appropriately convey his emotions.

Can Children Learn To Be Emotionally Literate?

Definitely. In fact, some children are so in sync with how they feel that they will find it quite easy to handle various people and situations. Others may require more time and education to achieve this goal. Every child needs to be emotionally literate and they need to be encouraged and inspired to express themselves. By helping them learn, you are enabling them to traverse the not-so-good emotions appropriately and successfully.

What Can You Do To Help Them?

As a parent or guardian, you must:

Acknowledge your child’s feelings and their corresponding responses. Take time to think about his reactions and don’t judge right away. Do not criticize either. You can help him identify his emotions like telling him, “I understand that you’re annoyed,” or, “That’s wonderful! No wonder you’re so excited!”

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Encourage him to tell you how they feel. Try to create an atmosphere that’s safe and open so he can comfortably talk to you about his feelings. He should not feel any judgment from you, because if he will, he’ll look for others to open up. When he has confided in you, you can say something like, “Do you think she did the right thing,” or, “How does that make you feel?”

 

Identify the motivators that help him do his best. Praise is a good thing, but encouragement is better. Don’t focus so much on the outcome but applaud your child’s behavior and the strategy that he used to achieve his goal. You can encourage him by saying, “I’ve noticed that when the task gets more challenging, you don’t give up but you try even harder – that’s a great attitude.”

 

Teach your child other means of airing his frustrations. Let him know that he has a choice. Your question should be open-ended so he can freely answer you. Something like this: “How can you possibly express your anger or frustration through words and not by throwing things or hitting?” Or, “Can you think of something else that you can do to let your friend know that you are mad at him?”

 

Teach your child ways that would help calm him down when he is angry or sad or devastated. Let him practice the simplest, easiest, and most effective lesson – taking deep breaths. Additionally, you can teach him to memorize a mantra, like, “I can control my anger,” or, “I am calm.” Or you can ask him what makes him relax and to let him do it when he needs to, like watching television or playing a game.

Final Thoughts 

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When you have successfully taught, encouraged, modeled, and empowered children to become emotionally literate, you can be sure to watch them thrive and become versatile, confident, and well-balanced adults armed with a positive well being and way of life. Then you have given them the greatest gift.

 

 

 

 

 

How To Set Healthy Boundaries In Your Relationship

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There have been a lot of arguments about the kinds of boundaries that couples should set – and what they can actually do – for their relationships. Some may claim that they don’t need these boundaries, as their partners should already know each other’s limitations. But the truth is that if your relationship is healthy, then it must have boundaries. It can’t be strong and productive until both partners convey their restrictions clearly, and each partner respects them. Boundaries MUST be set because they don’t get organized inherently, and they’re not easily created as well.

Here is a comparison of healthy and unhealthy qualities in a relationship:

Healthy

You are accountable for making your own happiness.

You have friends other than the ones you and your partner make.

You accept endings.

Communication is honest and open.

You acknowledge that you have differences.

Unhealthy

You feel incomplete and unimportant without your partner.

You are manipulative of your partner.

You are in a jealous relationship.

You are hesitant and afraid to express how you truly feel.

You can’t let go even if you have to.

You are not happy without your partner.

Independent boundaries are important no matter how big or small, and they need to be respected. Below is an example of a simple boundary and a serious boundary, to help you have a better understanding of the concept.

Simple Boundary

Your partner has made known to you that he is sensitive to his things so you need to ask him first before using them. You need to call a friend but then your phone is dead. You decide to borrow your partner’s phone but he’s asleep, so you just decide to use it anyway.

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In this example, the boundary set may be really, really simple, and yet this may be a big deal for your partner. Remember that you already know how he feels about his belongings. It is a small thing to ask but nevertheless, you have disrespected it.

Serious Boundary

You have honestly told your partner that you are the type who doesn’t want to be controlled in a relationship, especially when it comes to family and friends. Your partner calls you one night and asks you if you have plans, and you tell him that you’re going to a friend’s birthday party. Your partner says you can’t go but if you insist, he won’t go with you to your family reunion. Just because you don’t want that to happen, you make an excuse not to attend your friend’s birthday.

Here, it is clear that you don’t want to be someone who is controlling and manipulative. Not only did your partner disrespect your boundary; you yourself were not strong in standing by your own boundary.

Whether you think that the boundary set by your partner is major or not, it shouldn’t be neglected or disrespected. If, on the other hand, you are inconsistent with your own boundary because you are scared of your partner or you just don’t want a fight, then it’s a huge red light. Healthy relationships don’t feed on fear and manipulation.

Want your partner to feel loved, respected, and valued? Here’s what you do:

Listen to your partner so you’ll know what he or she wants. If there is something that you want to say, be honest. Perhaps you can meet halfway.

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Don’t put words into your partner’s mouth. If she sets the boundary, don’t tell her that she said otherwise just so you can get your way. Make an effort to show him or her that you recognize the boundaries and you follow through with actions.

 

Let go if you have to. When all boundaries have been set and all efforts have been done to respect those boundaries, yet both seem to find a compromise, perhaps it’s time to move on.

 

 

 

 

 

How To Love Someone Without Losing Yourself

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When you’re starting a relationship, you seem oblivious to what problems or future situations you’ll go through. You and your partner are initially at your best and feeling like you’re the best for each other. You don’t want anything to spoil the intimate connection so you strive to share and do everything together. The bond becomes stronger and you think more about your future with the person you love. Eventually, you will see yourself as a reflection of him, as two people become one.

However, as the ‘unification’ continues, you may realize later that you have lost your independent self. True, becoming one is a celebration of love and togetherness. But the journey doesn’t typically happen smoothly, and in the long run, you might not be able to take the fact that you have lost yourself in the relationship. So where did you end and where did your partner begin to engulf your identity?

Losing Your Identity

Once you realize this, there is a higher likelihood that you will grow bitter about giving up some crucial parts of yourself, particularly if your sacrifices and compromises are the usual demands of your partner. This will gradually create internal stress and tension, and the things that you do for the relationship will no longer be voluntary – you will feel that it’s something that you are forced to do. As this continues, feelings of resentment, worthlessness, depression, and insecurity will creep in.

 

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Let’s consider this example. You and your partner go to a wedding, and when all single ladies are asked to go in front of the single men to dance with, your partner doesn’t dance with you. How would you feel? That your partner doesn’t value you? Is he ashamed to be with you? Or is the relationship simply one-sided – where obviously the side isn’t on yours? Once you constantly think about being on the losing side, you fight for your right to be heard and then you grow angry with your partner and the whole relationship.

Your Forgotten Self

For a lot of couples, taking senseless stands may be because of your need to release the suppressed parts of yourself. You have forgotten that you do have a self, one that is separate from the relationship. However, if you aren’t able to express it as sensibly and freely, you will eventually feel invalidated and ultimately, lost. This intense version of you will not only affect your relationship negatively but your attitude outside of the relationship as well.

If you think that you and your partner have this kind of relationship now, or if you feel that it is going there, do talk to him about it. You can even see a therapist if you need help dealing with it. A relationship between two people in love should be positive and filled with respect for each other. Positive reciprocal relationships must inspire partners to give themselves both of you respect each other’s independence and limitations. You should feel happy, confident, and free. But if you feel otherwise, perhaps your borders aren’t being valued.

Final Thoughts

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Feelings of anger, insecurity, and resentment can ultimately destroy relationships. In most circumstances, you may need to look for a way out. On the other hand, if you and your partner are willing to change, creating boundaries for each other won’t be difficult, and both of you have sufficient space to grow and improve. The less helpless you feel, the more respect you have for each other, and the positive environment for the relationship and for each of you will flourish.